The ’90s Cat-in-a-Bag Mix-Up at Westroads Mall

Sometimes a friend tells you a story so good you nearly fall out of your chair. Russ did that to me the other day.

He started with, “Okay, this happened years ago… back when Mom and her friend used to drive into Omaha to shop.” I knew right then I was in for something.

His family lived in a small rural town near Omaha. The kind of place where you keep a shovel and a spare bag in the car because… well, life happens. And on this particular day, life happened fast.

While Russ’ mom and her friend were on their way to Westroads Mall, a cat darted onto the road. She couldn’t avoid it and clipped it. Heartbroken, she pulled over to check on it. The poor thing was gone. Being a practical farm woman, she carefully scooped the little cat into a bag. She had plans to take it home and bury it properly in her field later.

So far, so normal… at least by rural standards.

When they reached Westroads, she parked and started reaching for her purse and the shopping lists. But the bag with the cat was in the way. So she set the bag on the roof, meaning to deal with it in a minute.

Then shopping energy took over. Mom and her friend were talking a mile a minute, excited for lunch at Bishop’s cafeteria. (Those were the days!) They hurried inside without another thought to the cat.

Fast forward to them settling into their seats by the window. As they’re unpacking their trays, they glanced outside. They saw a passer-by — what Russ cheerfully called “the bag-lady.” She stopped at the car, noticed the bag on its roof, and peeked inside.

According to Russ, that was when the laughter began. His mom and her friend lost it so completely they had tears streaming down their faces.

Meanwhile, outside? A whole different story was unfolding.

The woman took one look inside the bag, freaked out so dramatically she flew backwards. She hit her head on the adjacent car, and knocked herself out cold. A good Samaritan saw her go down and called 911.

The rescue squad arrived. They assessed the situation and loaded her up. And — as they always do — collected her personal belongings to take along to the hospital.

Which means the EMTs also gathered up… the cat in the bag.

Russ and I laughed so hard imagining the Emergency Department staffer opening that bag while checking in her belongings. I can only imagine the look on their faces. It was probably the same one the woman had right before she fainted.

Some family stories are pure gold. This one? Comedy treasure with a rural twist.