Building Strong Bonds: Tips for SCA Apprentice-Peer Dynamics

At this fall’s Cattle Raids, I’ll be taking Lady Tanneke Groenlaken as my second apprentice. She’s from my home barony, which makes things even better. Tanneke loves diving into research and learning new things.

HL Astrid is also excited about her joining the household and has already become a good friend to her.

Welcoming Tanneke has gotten me thinking yet again—what is this whole apprentice-peer relationship really about? People ask me questions, and I’ve had a few questions of my own lately. So I sat down and made a list. Here’s where my brain landed:

Proximity: Closer is better.

Yes, we all have those epic long-distance friendships in the SCA. However, for the apprentice/peer relationship, seeing each other outside of big events is gold. You want to collaborate, brainstorm, and occasionally commiserate without a six-hour car ride. I usually say three hours max for a day trip. Bonus points if you live near the same coffee shop.

Respect: The cornerstone.

Let’s be honest: if you don’t respect your peer, are you really going to listen to them? Or vice versa? It’s not just about admiring someone’s skills—it’s about trusting their intent and valuing their feedback. Ask yourself:

Is the peer’s craft, service, and behavior something I admire?
If you’re the peer, do you see a sparkle in their eye when they talk about learning?

Honor: What people notice when they see you together.

SCA relationships are often visible before they’re formal. People will notice who you camp with, chat with, or laugh with in court. Your reputations start to blend. Like incense in a room—hopefully something pleasant. Before committing, ask:

Do we share a similar sense of right and wrong?
Do we respect each other’s behavior at events—and the company we keep?

Learning Environment: Let’s talk styles.

Every learner (and teacher) has a rhythm. Do you want lots of direction? Room to stumble and figure it out? A peer and apprentice should understand how each of them learns best. Consider:

Do our schedules allow for regular check-ins?
Do we know what we want to teach and learn?
How do we each give and receive feedback?

Goals: More than just hanging out.

Sure, being part of a household means friendship—but taking someone as an apprentice should go beyond that. To me, it’s about learning together. Think about what you both want to focus on:

Skills, research, and resources?
Camp life and persona development?
Social presence and service?

Length of Commitment: The “let’s not make this awkward later” part.

Relationships grow—and sometimes they grow apart. I like to set a timeframe, especially for the first few years. Then have a yearly check-in: “Are we still on the same page?” If the date passes and no one says anything… well, you may have quietly agreed to move on.

Household Dynamics: Siblings and sidekicks.

If there are other students or apprentices, those bonds matter too! I’ve seen apprentice siblings become incredibly close—sometimes even more so than with their peer. So it’s worth asking:

Is this a household that’s going to grow?
How do we decide when to welcome someone new?

Every one of these topics deserves a conversation—some together, some on your own. For me, all of this comes down to discussions about SCA community and growth. We engage in these discussions as we gather around a table, campfire, or motel room. We share how things are going, dream big and learn from both flops and progress.

These activities form the heart of the SCA peer relationship. This is the one best way I know to pass on skills. As with any peer association, here’s hoping this relationship shares both wisdom and joy along the way.